Food Chemistry at its Finest
Published by hmrpita on Wednesday, June 27, 2007 at 1:44 PMI decided to write about weird food combinations in a new post rather than as a comment in what's-her-butt's post, BECAUSE I CAN.
BECAUSE I CAN is reason enough for some of the lamest acts in history.
When I was a kid, one of my favorite meals was spaghetti with cole slaw. Cole slaw at our house consisted of chopped up green cabbage and mayonnaise. I never cared for deli cole slaw or any kind other than CABBAGE and MAYONNAISE. And none of that crappy stuff--it had to be Best Foods mayonnaise (or Hellmann's, as some of you might know it) and LOTS of it. The delicious combination was to mix the cole slaw with the spaghetti, so the mayonnaise and red meat sauce became the color of thousand island dressing. Fucking awesome. I still did that as an adult, until I stopped eating mayonnaise.
Speaking of mayonnaise: when I was little, I used to make mayonnaise sandwiches (a piece of white bread slathered in mayonnaise, folded over and eaten). Yummy. Gross, but yummy.
My dad would eat green bean sandwiches. He'd butter up a piece of white bread, put cold leftover green beans on it, fold it over and shove the entire thing in his mouth and somehow manage to chew it enough to swallow.
Also when I was little, sometimes I'd scoop up some butter on my potato chip. How disgusting is that? Then again, I'd eat Nestlé Quik straight from the can by the spoonful. I was big into baking as a child and once I creamed butter and sugar together just to eat it. Fat and sugar addict, anyone? And I was a runty kid too.
Now I eat things that SOME people think are odd, but I don't. I like tomato and cucumber sandwiches on white bread. I like cheese and pickle sandwiches, specifically, extra sharp cheddar cheese and garlic stackers on rye bread.
As a teenager I got into the habit of heating up in the microwave a flour tortilla with only Taco Bell taco sauce on it. I still do that sometimes now. Oh yeah, I eat it after I heat it up. I don't just let it sit there. What do you think I am--dumb or something? Don't answer that. What is also good is to put some chocolate in there, such as a couple of Hershey's miniature milk chocolate bars. The taco sauce chocolate combination is good. I like my food the way I like my men: spicy, sweet, and weird. Or something.
I am sure there are others, but that's all I can think of now.
pita OUT.
In terms of straight-out gross stuff to eat, my mom used to make me fried bologna sandwiches on white bread, doused with Italian salad dressing.
So gross. So good.
Actually, that sandwich sounds pretty tasty. Gross, like you say, but tasty.
My bologna sandwich as a kid was one slice of bologna on white bread (of course) with guess what?
Yep: Mayonnaise.
White food is often underrated. And I don't mean food that white people eat, but food that is white.
That is the right attitude to have (easy for me to say, since I share it).
*covers her mouth and makes the "cat with hairball noise"*
I however do admit to being a closet strawberry Quick spooner. Mmmmm...the best reason to have kids is so you can have shit like that in the house and when it mysteriously dissapears, you blame them!!
I might just try the Chocolate Taco Bell quesadilla. Heck. Taco Bell...chocolate...nirvana?
Another thing I used to eat straight that was intended to be mixed with a liquid was jello powder. Cherry was my very most favorite followed by lime. Yummy and colorful and made your hands and tounge pretty colors for hours. Excellent as long as there weren't too many ants around.
Oh, and kudos for the brilliant use of "what's-her-butt." May I use that in my next conversation with, well, What's-Her Butt?
I think it is hilarious that you are not grossed out by taco sauce and chocolate in a flour tortilla.
OMG I used to eat Jello powder too--Cherry IS the best.
You certainly may. You should call what's-her-butt what's-her-butt to her face. That'll learn what's-her-butt!
Quik in a coffee cup with just a little milk to make a "frosting" (or paste).
Elbow macaroni & cottage cheese.
Cream cheese & strawberry preserves (or raspberry) sandwiches (never fond of peanut butter as a kid).
Hershey syrup straight from the can (they didn't have those nifty plastic squeeze bottles when I was a kid).
To this day, I make a concoction of cocoa and coffee, with maybe some caramel syrup, and sometimes a little rum, but I don't think it is odd--just tasty.
Oh yes--Hershey syrup straight from the can (though even better mixed with vanilla ice cream to make ice cream soup).
Ask her husband to tell the horror story of the first time he was at her family's house, and her mother said "Tiff, please make the vegetables". Let's just say it involves a GIANT THWACK of LARD.
I gotta say... Now I am kind of intrigued by the cream cheese abominations, and am eyeing all the boxes of jello that I have in my pantry...
James has since come around and when hee made pancakes this morning he was frustrated and upset because he couln't find the jar of bacon grease in the fridge to oil up the griddle! :o)
Raw jello powder=yum. But Tang is even better.